naluriku berbicara

Apabila berada seorang diri
Fikiranku akan mula dihantui
Peristiwa yang menyayat hati
Perasaan pilu mula dirasai

Air mata akan menitis
Tertanya pada diri sendiri
Adakah cinta masih bersemi
Setelah hati telah dilukai

Hanya Tuhan yang mengetahui
Ujian getir yang dilalui
Hampir memusnahkan seluruh kekuatan
Sehingga hilang arah tujuan


Cinta itu memang indah pada mulanya namun bila ia telah dikhianati, ia akan melahirkan satu perasaan yang amat hiba serta kekecewaan yang tidak terhingga..... Hanya Cinta pada ALLAH membawa kebahagiaan yang abadi...

curahan hati

Cinta sejati itu hanya akan dirasai apabila pemergian seseorang itu telah meninggalkan kesan yang mendalam dan mengalirkan air mata. Perasaan sayu serta kesedihan akan meresapi seluruh jiwa. Hanya kepada Allah, doa dipohonkan agar dia kembali ke dalam pangkuan.

Cinta sejati itu mempunyai akar yang kukuh serta pendirian yang teguh. Ia tidak menghiraukan taufan yang melanda kerana lutsinar yang terpancar dari auranya mampu mengharungi segala ujian dari Illahi. Keimanan, kecintaan dan keikhlasan adalah inti atau baja yang disemai bersama.

Cinta sejati ibarat sebuah pohon. Sinaran matahari, air serta karbon dioxida adalah santapan untuk pohon itu terus hidup. Begitulah juga dengan cinta. Santapannya berbeza bagi setiap individu. Bagiku, curahan kasih sayang, iman dan ikhlas adalah santapannya.

Ya Allah, saya mengetuk pintu rahmatMu. Kasihanilah hamba dan kurniakanlah hidayahMu.

(The picture is downloaded from a website)

satu penghayatan

Secara tiba-tiba, fikiranku tertumpu mengenai isu perkahwinan. Perbualan bersama salah satu teman karibku telah memberi kesan yang mendalam dan sekaligus merubahkan perspektifku mengenai isu ini. Pendapat yang diberikan oleh beliau sebenarnya telah membuatku lebih matang. Memang benar cinta bukanlah segala-galanya. Kalau kita nikah hanya berdasarkan cinta sahaja, ia tidak mencukupi. Perkahwinan itu sendiri merangkumi pelbagai aspek. Aku melihat perkahwinan itu sebagai membina sebuah rumah. Cinta itu ibarat impian yang kita inginkan bagaimana rumah itu akan kelihatan sementara alat-alat seperti dinding, jenis batu, warna dan tiang diibaratkan seperti kewangan dan kesediaan mental. Perhiasan di dalam rumah pula dikaitkan dengan perwatakan serta perangai kedua-dua insan ini. Lazimnya, hanya bayangan rumah impian yang difikirkan manakala isu bagaimana rumah itu ingin dibentuk jarang dihayati.

Seperti insan lain, aku ingin membina sebuah perkahwinan yang kekal. Iman, ikhlas dan komunikasi yang baik adalah lambang kekuatan rumah itu agar ia sentiasa bercahaya di waktu cerah atau ribut. Ya Allah, ya Tuhanku, hanya Kamu yang tahu tentang masa depanku namun seperti insan lain, aku ingin kebahagiaan yang kekal sehingga ke syurga, insya Allah. amin.

Tentang usia pula, samada kahwin di waktu usia muda atau terlewat bukanlah persoalannya namun kesediaan seseorang itu untuk melangkah ke alam baru adalah mustahak. Perkahwinan tidak syak lagi merupakan salah satu ciptaan Allah dan sekaligus mencerminkan kebijaksanaanNya yang tiada bandingan. Dari perkahwinan ia akan melahirkan satu perasaan sayang di dalam hati dua insan, sama-sama berjuang dan zuriat merupakan anugerah Tuhan yang nilainya tiada ukuran. Perasaaan sayang itu sudah melambangkan kebijaksanaan Allah yang Esa.

Ya Allah, ilmu yang aku pelajari samada duniawi atau ukhrawi, ia mengajarku bahawasanya aku sentiasa memerlukan bimbingan dariMu dan tiada yang lebih bijak kecuali diriMu.

chapter....

The weather today is looking good. I like the cold atmosphere. It is not too sunny and not too windy. I accompanied my brother to his school to purchase new books. As i entered the school, i could feel the strange excitement as i touch the school compound. I felt somewhat very elated. I guess i missed the school days. I missed my teachers and my pals. Honestly, i feel that school is one of the best places on earth besides home and mosque. I love education. I view education as the only way to get out from poverty and the only wealth that no one has ever succeeded in stealing it. My brother will be in Primary 5 next year. I pray may he do well in both studies and cca, insya Allah, amin

I felt very down yesterday. I felt as if the world had ended. After doing self-therapy, i felt calm and i am looking forward with a positive mind and i believe Life itself is interesting and has many things to offer. Also, dont' get too upset or miserable when a sad event had taken place. As long as you are still breathing on the earth, Allah will test and He wont test you that is beyond your limit. I read this book by Paul S Bodner. The title is Living with Love, Laughter and Lemonade. I borrowed this book from a library but i guess i want to have my own copy. Allah has lifted my hopes by showing me the meaning of life through this book. I felt like as if i have gained a new zest of strength which is filled with High Positive ions and Strong Faith in God.

I have decided to continue my education. Most of my friends have married. At the age of 23, i know people will not stop pestering me with the question of marriage. I view marriage as an another masterpiece of God's creations. The common stereotype is if by the age of 25, still single, we will be dubbed as Old spinster or anak dara tua, hehheee.. Well today world is different. I leave this matter to God. All i know is my heart is yet to open for marriage. It is not that i am not thinking about marriage but i want an everlasting marriage. A marriage that is embedded with iman, love and sincerity. As for a dream guy, i am concerning about his heart and religion.


Life is about making choices. Life is a series of events. Life is a book that waits to be written. Life is Only Given Once! Believe in God! When you believe in God, every impossible will be possible. Every pain will be a strength and Surely one day Death will welcome us. Make Rasulullah smiles at us and when he smiles at us, means Allah will smile and Heaven is the everlasting place.

Thank you Allah. ;)

Insaf

Terasa kesedihan meresapi kalbu
Air mata hampir menitis
Mengapakah hatiku berasa sayu
Dimanakah sumber ini didatangi

Fikiranku berkecamuk dan bercelaru
Bagaikan kabus tebal menutupi
Seolah kedua mataku dikaburi
Sehingga hilang arah tuju

Perasaan hiba berterusan menghantui
Keyakinan diri mula bergoncang
Kekosangan mula mengisi hati
Sehingga membuatku tidak tenang


Entahlah, sejak semalam, hatiku resah dan bersedih semacam. Aku seolah hilang semangat untuk meneruskan kehidupan. Aku hanya mampu menangis bila aku tidak berdaya untuk bertahan. Di saat aku menitis air mata, terasa akan kehadiran cahaya. Ia seolah membasahi segala keresahanku dan mengembalikan semangatku. Aku yakin ia adalah cahaya dari Allah. Ternyata Allah masih menyayangi diriku mungkin aku sahaja yang melupakanNya. Ya Allah, ampunkanlah dosaku. Kasihanilah daku.

Manusia bila dianugerahi sesuatu, ia pasti terlupa diri dan pada Tuhan. Sehingga soal ajal tidak wujud sama sekali. Tetapi bila ujian melanda diri, barulah kenal diri dan mencari Tuhan secara pantas seperti kilat. Apabila aku merenungi diriku, aku mula sedar tentang kelemahanku dan kelalaianku. Aku banyak melakukan dosa sehingga jiwaku terasa kekosongan yang ketara. Ya Allah, kasihanlah hamba. Pimpinlah hamba. Hidupku, matiku dan ibadahku hanyalah semata-mata untukMu. AKu menghadapkan wajahku kepadaMu. Janganlah Allah memalingkan wajahMu dariku. Maafkanlah hamba kerana hamba telah menjauhkan diri dariMu....

Merenungi diri

Di dalam perjalanan ini
Pelbagai ujian bakal diharungi
Ada pahit dan manis
Inilah yang dinamakan duniawi

Benteng ketabahan serta kesabaran
Menguji tahap keteguhan iman
Yang redha dikurnai ketenangan
Yang mengeluh dianugerahi keresahan

Berilah ruang kepada dirimu
Untuk menyendiri bersama Tuhan
Berbicaralah dengan ketulusan hatimu
Pasti jiwamu diresapi kedamaian

In my personal point of view, when i am down, i do not feel the welcome of tranquility if i were to visit places that are full of noises, gossips and spending a lot of money. I did try to visit but it seemed my heart was restless even before i visited the places. In the end i visited God's house. In the Quran, Allah had mentioned that humans are created with restlessness. The only thing to cure is to remember Him. Only through solat and zikrullah, one will feel calm.

The Nite

Thunders are roaring feriociously
Lightning flashes very brightly
Cold breeze blowing strongly
Rains then pouring ceaselessly

Breathtaking scenery creates wonder
Undoubtfully, God is magnificent
His creations invite ponder
Flawless, unique and brilliance

Enjoying this heart-stirring view
No one has any clue
Whether tomorrow, the eyes shall blinking
To experience another awe-inspiring

The above poem was written on one of the nights. When i was alone, i could feel and observe the creation of the night. I love the night ambience. It was silence and each living creature was fast asleep. Then i started to think about the space. I wanted to go up there and see the planets and the stars. I knew there is no medium in the space. No sound can be heard. Oh Allah, only You can grant my wish to observe Your creation.

another phase

I download this image from a website. It is a mountain or a hill where Rasulullah stood up there for the last time before answering Allah's call.

It was a nice and tranquility atmosphere.

7 days more to go before Hari Raya or Eidul Fitri.This year, our celebration will be a different tune. Our beloved granny had passed away this year March. I am not sure how the tune will be like. I am sure every each of us will miss her presence. This is a reality of life. Every living soul shall meet death in the end. No matter what, Allah is so kind. Insya Allah, we will meet again in a world where it is everlasting.

I watched Freedom Writer and Bridge to Teribathia. Both movies were great and i was moved by the way the storylines were arranged. There were so many life lessons that i could learn from. The death poet society was another masterpiece as well.

Ya Allah, i was still unsure about my future. I felt as if i were surrounded by a thick foggy mist and lost my direction. Ya Allah, i truly need Your Guidance. Please help me....

Back here again

It has been quite a while that i did not update my blog.. Here a short summary of the events that took place in my life journey:

I believe that every event that had happened, lies a hidden blessing. It is like a bud and the shape is weird. After a while, it slowly blossom into a beautiful flower which gives out a sweet fragrance. Setiap apa yang berlaku ada Hikmah yang terselindung. Allah adalah Maha Mengetahui segala-galanya. The important part is i should not ever jump into conclusion that will breed the negative thoughts. Always recite la hau la wala quuwata Illa billahil 'aliyil 'azhim.

I am currently listening to a malay song entitles Hanya Satu (Only One) by Nora. This song is basically about love and this person is the only one that will be in the heart. It reminds me of someone special. He is the strength, the pillar of hope and my best friend. Insya Allah (with God Willing), he will be my soul mate. Oh Allah, i miss and love him because of You.

Tiada keraguan yang disangsi
Hanyalah dirimu yang bertahkta di sanubari
Keimanan serta ketulusan suci
Mengiringi talian percintaaan ini

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku
Limpahilah rahmatMu serta cintaMu
Teguhkanlah keimanan kami padaMu
Sesungguhnya kami saling mencintai keranaMu

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya tiada penafian di dalam diriku, bahawasanya aku sangat merindui dirinya. Ya Allah, aku yakin di dalam hatinya tersirat hajat yang sama tersirat di dalam hatiku: Ya Allah, bimbinglah kami ke jalan kebenaran agar cinta ini tidak dinodai dengan kemurkaanMu dan satukanlah kami seperti mana Allah telah satukan Nabi Muhammad bersama Saiyidatina Khadijah dan Saiyidina Ali bersama Saiyidatina Fatimah, insya Allah, amin.

Well, saya bukan nak jiwang-jiwang, kwang-kwang. I do believe love is a great gift from Allah. :)

Insya Allah, i will starting school early next year.

Looking for a new day ahead

Believe in yourself. Your mind is the greatest enemy. If you think you will lose, then you will lose before the actual event has taken place. Life is the greatest gift from Allah. We can see His magnificent creations. The air, the breeze, the land, the sea, the grasses, the moon... endless and countless.. Oh Allah, there is no one equal to Him. He is the Creator, the Owner and the King of Heaven and Earth. He is the listerning ear, the observer, the saviour for those people who turn to Him solely.

Well, those words written above are solely for me. Thank you Allah for the blessings. I love you and I hope You would love me as well.. A true muslim is someone that will be able to adapt to the changes of the world without abandon the true teachings of islam.. Life is short so treaseure it...

A thought for you

40 days had passed. Indeed, time flew very fast. Granny had left us for more than a month. Last week, dated 22 April, we had a prayer feast for her. I slept over at my granny's house with my cousin, fatin. Both of us slept in her room. I was quite sad to see her room. I did recall the last time i slept with my granny on her bed. I had no idea it was the last time that i ever slept with her. In the middle of the sleep, my cousin and i felt something extraordinary . We both felt our legs were being touched with caressness (icing cold) and the mattress was being pressed by someone walking on it. We believed that granny came back to see her grandchildren. I miss her. Only Allah knows how wonderful feeling that we had encountered. May Allah bless her soul in both worlds, insya Allah, amin.

Today, i went to visit my granny's grave. I prayed for her and talked to her. I believed she is leading a happy life there. Granny, one day i shall enter into the world that you had entered before me. It is just a matter of time. I just could feel the sadness that penetrate into my soft heart. I miss her and only prayer is a sign of remembrance.

Satu renungan

Aku sedar masa berlalu begitu pantas tanpa aku sedari.. Kini sudah masuk satu minggu arwah nenek meninggalkan kami.. Pemergianmu merupakan takdir Allah. Tiada siapa yang dapat menghalang kehendakMu. Manusia yang kerdil adalah ciptaanMu. Setiap yang bernyawa pasti akan kembali kepadaMu. Ini juga merupakan kehendakMu.. Kini aku dapat melihat serta memahami hakikat kehidupan. Tiada yang kekal kecuali Allah Al-Baqi. Dunia ini adalah milikMu. Manusia hanya penghuni dan khalifah yang mendiami bumi untuk satu tempoh yang telah ditetapkan olehMu. Oh Tuhan, aku berasa sangat malu dan insaf. Aku sedar bekalan hidupku sentiasa kekurangan dan sentiasa membuat dosa. Ya Tuhan, ketahuilah, aku kini memikirkan dosa apa yang bakal aku lakukan sebentar lagi. Astagfirullah, aku seorang insan yang daif. Ya Allah, ya Tuhan, kasihanilah hambuMu ini.

Andaiku tahu jangka hayatku

Akan aku menyiapakan bekalanku

Namun itu diluar kekuasaanku

Tuhan sahaja mengetahui umurku

Hari itu pasti tiba

Malaikat Izrail akan menjemputku

Tiada keraguan tapi nyata

Alam barzakh akan menantiku

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku

Aku memohon rahmat dariMu

Tunjukilah aku jalan kebenaran

Menuju keredhaanMu Ya Tuhan

Semoga rahmat Allah akan sentiasa mencurahi roh nenek yang sangat kami cintai. Insya Allah, amin.

Kami merinduimu dan hanya doa yang dapat kami berikan sebagai tanda cinta kami.

Life is short

It has been a long time that i did not come here to write. Weeks? Months? hehehe, time flies so fast

On 16th March, Friday together with 26 Safar 1428 Hijrah, my granny had passed away. Thank you Allah for inviting my granny on a blessed Friday. One of my cousins dreamt that granny came to visit us and she was smiling. She wore white prayer clothes and she left behind a holy scent. Alhamdulillah, she is one of the chosen occupants of Heaven. The great feeling is when Allah had answered our prayers. As for my case, I prayed may Allah place Granny in a best position in His Heaven. I was blissful when i heard that my cousin (farhana) dreamt about Granny's condition. Dear Granny, i left you with a poem below:

Granny

You are a wonderful lady

your smile, your tears

shall be remembered by us

you are an angel

sent by Allah to us

you fed us with love

you showed us the meaning of life

i could see the sufferings

in your warmest eyes

coping with the disease

that had been fated by Allah

nevertheless, you are strong

you never seem to give up

you accepted the test

with an open heart

on a bright Friday

you gave out your last breath

leaving this temporary world

with peacefulness and calmness

we shall miss your calm composure

we shall miss your cooking

we shall miss your laughter

we shall miss your presence

Dear granny, our granny

you are always be remmebered

in our humble hearts

in our humility prayers

We love you so much

Now, we are left with our grandpa. He will take turns to sleep over at each of our houses. Oh Allah, i cant promise you anything but i will take good care of granpa so that granny will always smile. i will give my best to make his dreams come true... blessed us.. blessed my family.... Oh Allah, blessed the soul of our beloved granny.. amin.